Everyone has their ideal man. Personally, I tend to gravitate toward baseball players, but who doesn’t love a good old, home grown country boy? They have the most ear-gasmic accents, they are not afraid to get dirty, and they usually know how to treat a woman.
But let the crazy begin.
Mikey.Army dude.Kentucky.Kowboy.My White Whale.
Just a few names that he goes by. I’m going take you back to spring break of 2014. Not the PCB/Girls Gone Wild type spring break, but the kind I went down to visit my sister for her 21st birthday. Still an absolute blast, but I was surrounded by family, so I had to keep it somewhat tame. My sister and I are super close so I was beyond excited to finally be in the same city as her and having as much fun as possible. Figured while I was down there I’d do a little Tindering, just to see the difference in guys. Holy shit was there a differnce. They were nice and polite, messaged me first, and had a general interest in getting to know you. Complete opposite of the guys that ask for nudes in the first five minutes of a conversation. I’m one of those people that actually read profiles, and never had I laughed at what someone had wrote. Funny? Check. He was in the army. Loves ‘Merica? Check. Not to mention he was tall and absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful future kids? Check. On paper, already light years ahead of the competition and lucky me,he messaged me first.
Not saying that Tinder should be used to find relationships (Which in later posts, I learned the hard way), but God damn,if I don’t wish sometimes that I was an army wife. He lived on an army base on the boarder of Kentucky (again, the K trend continues), 6’3″, 200 lb, born and raised in Texas, did a tour in overseas and had quite a few tattoos. He was the ideal country boy. I think one of the first conversations we had was how sad he was the day he had to trade his cowboy boots for combat boots. There was never a lack in conversation. I feel bad that I was on vacation with my family and on my phone the whole time, but never had I gotten along with someone so well. He was a hottie with a body….that I’d never get too see unfortunately. As break drew to an end, we realized the likeliness of ever meeting each other was like zero. Life hates me like that. But in some weird miracle, he still wanted to talk to me. He wanted to know if we could start texting and talking to each other on the phone. WHERE HAD THE UNIVERSE BEEN HIDING THIS KID FROM ME?!
Fast forward a bit, we talked on the phone, text, Skyped regularly. His voice and smile were perfection. He would text me “Good morning pretty lady” every day. We had talked pretty much everyday and got to know a lot about each other. We’d considered ourselves really good friends. As we got closer, a lot about his life began to explain him as a person. His parents were divorced, his mom was a breast cancer survivor, his brother was a gay and in the Navy. He was a complicated soul. It made sense why he had tried to explain to me he wasn’t mentally stable. Nice try buddy, but I grew up in a house with mental disorder, can’t scare me away. I know how to handle you. I didn’t know if this was meant to scare me away or one of those crazy mind games men like to play. Who ever real knows. I just took it with a grain of salt. We had the mutual understanding that all we would ever be was friends. I was totally down with being just friends. I had done a long distance type relationship before, and they sucked. It was just great to get to know a great guy. At this point, I tried to explain to my girlfriends all about him. Half of them told me to hit it the other half told me he just wanted to knock me up and keep me on base forever. I should have taken this as a sign that no one would understand the kind of relationship that me and him have.
Fast forward a month or so, we’re still talking every day, no sign of us ever meeting each other, but we still enjoyed what we had. Then, of course, there comes a day that we had not texted each other. I didn’t think anything of it. I figured there had to be some good reason that he hadn’t text me. He was up for work early…maybe he was napping. He never went out with his friends…he deserved a night out. I spent the whole night coming up with reasons why he hadn’t text me that day. Looking back at it, it was pretty pathetic, but live and learn fa sho. I text him the next morning wishing him a good day. Still…nothing. Three days had gone by before he finally text me back. “Hi” was all I got. I tried to keep my cool, but I take my friendships seriously. I had explained to him that I understand that he was busy and he didn’t owe me anything. He apologized, but had explained to me that things were getting a little to serious for him and he freaked out a little bit. That kinda only pissed me off more, because in no way did I feel like things were getting too serious. I wasn’t asking him to marry me, wasn’t asking him to move in. I just was asking about his day and the random facts about him, and I don’t think that’s too much. We both shook off the incident, but I’ll never forget how it made me feel.
Well, in some weird twist, it kinda made us even closer. We started sharing more intimate details about each other…aka we started talking about sex. There was no doubt that we were attracted to each other and we had no problem letting each other know it. I’m not one for sexting, but whats a racy photo here or there. He was sending me more than just racy pics, but I was not complaining. There no other way of explaining it, but he had a real nice penis. I regularly let him know that. I swore this man was sent from heaven just for me and that nothing could go wrong. Then again, when does life not like to fuck me.
Now again, this is a six foot big army dude. He had seen and lived some shit. I figured he had quite the sexual history, but we were about even in the fact that we had not slept with many people. So when he asked me the following question, it was completely thrown from left field.
“How do you feel about domination?”
Literally, what the fuck? How does anyone feel about domination? I had only been in very vanilla situations and the craziest place I had ever had sex was the backseat of a car. I mean, being on Tinder, I have heard some pretty fucked up stuff, but I didn’t know those people. I actually knew things about this kids. I’m pretty sure I waited a good ten mins. before I responded.
I mean, why not? I’m naturally bitchy, so it only seems right. Low key, I’m also really big into documentaries, and had seen one not too long ago about the lifestyles of professional dominatrices. They made fantastic money and had this air of confidence. Not to mention they got to boss powerful men around for money. I know for a fact I would make a fucking fantastic mistress. All women these days are totally down with the whole “50 Shades of Grey” type situation. Not that I wouldn’t want that to happen to me, but I’d rather be the dominant.
That was the turning point in our relationship and brings us to where me and him are today. We text each other pretty much every day whenever we are free. He literally does whatever I say because his job is to make me happy. It way more than just a purely sexual relationship, its like a bonus version of a friendship. We never really made like an official documented agreement but we do have a few rules that include
- If I’m bored, he has to entertain me
- He is not allowed to do some things without my permission, like masturbating or sometimes sleeping
- Calling me by my name is strictly prohibited (Freaks me out) so he is only allowed to address me as “ma’am”
- If he breaks a rule, he gets punished — no masturbating for a week, etc.
- If he follows the rules, he gets rewarded — allowed to watch porn, etc.
- I am allowed to do whatever I want to him, as long as I don’t dismember him and draw blood.
- Catch no feelings, because that would just be weird
Now, it might sound a little harsh, but I’m the boss and I can do whatever I want. He absolutely loves it. Never in a million years did I think I would ever do this stuff with him in person, but of course, like a broken record, my life’s one big old joke. We both built up the courage to actually try it for real. I packed up a car and set the GPS to Kentucky.
I had stopped about half way to get some supplies. I have been into sex shops before, but never to buy domination/ bondage. I clearly looked like I had no idea what I was doing, so the nice lady who went by Cookie, helped me pick some stuff out. I clearly have no shame, because I explained to Cookie the entire situation. She told me to start small. She helped me pick out a blindfold and whip. When it came to handcuffs, she said that a dude of his stature, he was going to break through the handcuffs, so I went with padded restrains. Cookie and I had a good laugh the entire time I was there, but I had a journey to continue.
I was nervous as fuck pulling onto the base. I drove around till I pulled up to his barracks. First off, when he walked up to the car, he was even more beautiful in person. God damn, pretty sure I thanked Jesus a few times. He gave me a big hug, took my bag, and was super excited to see me. Finally hearing his voice in person only made me more smitten. Best. Fucking. Accent. Ever. So far so good. His room in the barracks was the size of a shoe box, like I don’t know how anyone would function in there. I sat on his bed because I was tired from driving so long, so we had a few beers and decided to watched a movie. It was just super comfortable and not awkward at all, which I thought was super weird. He put his arm around me and other hand holding mine. We made small talk about the movie while we were getting though the credits. That was until he turns to me, looks me dead in the eyes and says
“I have been waiting to damn long to do this.”
He planted a big old kiss on my lips and I’m pretty sure we were lip locked for the next 20 minutes. Bring it on. Clothes on the ground, alcohol in my system, and a phenomenal army man with his hands all over me, I was in heaven. I was pretty sure it wasn’t real life. This mother fucker tossed me around a little bit, but then he just stopped. In my head, I was like, ‘no no no, keep going,’ but he looked at me and said
“What do you need me to do for you ma’am”
Umm, yes. I made him go down on me, and of course, he was a fucking natural at that too. The moment was finally here. I made him wear the blind fold, tied his arms behind his back, and made him lay on the bed. Too spare the details of me yelling dirty things to him, I whipped him around a little bit and made him thank me for the love taps. I really liked the feeling of power that I had, just as much as he loved being whipped in the ass and me choking him. I moved him to a chair and tied him to the closet. Still had not allowed him to penetrate me, but he was begging for it. Teasing him was probably the most fun part of it all. He sat there with only his sense of hearing, tied to a chair, blindfolded, naked, and begging me to fuck him. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself for a little bit. I told him to sit there for a little bit so I could go get a drink of water in his kitchen.
In retrospect , I wouldn’t have left the room if I had known 1. that his roommate was home and 2. if the barracks bedroom doors lock automatically when you close them. So I bet you can assume what happened. I went to go open the door again, and couldn’t get it back open. I was standing naked in his kitchen, no way to get back into the room, with his roommate home, and its not like he could have just got up and opened the door for me. Most awkward sexual experience that I have ever had, by far. Freaking out, if me and him didn’t figure it out, we were going to have to call the military police to come open the door. I was not about to let that happen. This is where his room being the size of a cracker box came in handy. I reached across the room with his leg, falling out of the chair, and opened the door with his foot. I helped him back into the chair, and we just laughed. At least we had a sense of humor about it. I thought that was a good enough deed to actually have sex with him at that point. Little advice, sex in a chair is super sexy and intimate. I loved it.
Bada Bing Bada Boom, we were both ready for bed. We squeezed onto his little twin, and passed out. I woke up early in the morning because I had a long way back home, so I packed up my shit, gave him a kiss goodbye, and headed out of the barracks. My good luck continued though as I walked out onto the base….on Monday…in civilian clothing. I stuck out like a sore thumb and had a very strange walk of shame to my car. Benefit of it though, got to watch more beautiful men in uniform. I stopped at Sonic, and called my best friend to word vomit all the details. We had a good laugh as I drove back home.
Mikey and me continue to do our thing. March is going to be one whole year of this crazy, stupid roller coaster. I haven’t been back to visit yet for a round two, but I will soon and we’ve already got a ton of new ideas that we wanna try. For example, he wants me to tie up his balls (to each their own? haha) We have had the conversation about how far we wanna take this relationship, and we agree we’re going to keep it going till one of us gets into an actual relationship. I don’t see that happening for either of us any time soon though.
I’m probably having way more fun than I should be, but fuck it. It makes for a great story and nothing guys tell me anymore really surprised me anymore.
Not so vanilla anymore.